Anonymous asked: Cris, what did you think of that Buzzfeed article that everyone is posting?
You’re trying to upset me, Anonymous. I’ll try to keep this restrained.
Fuck Buzzfeed and everything about it. Buzzfeed is an even lazier version of Tumblr. It just steals other people’s content and puts them into lists. There’s nothing creative about it, yet the page gets a ton of traffic because all of the articles contain lots of pretty pictures and no substance. I think it’s insulting to people’s intelligence, frankly. As someone who generates his own content and writes/researches/photographs everything that gets posted on his site, it drives me insane that Buzzfeed is so popular. There’s nothing good about it other than that it provides a cheap thrill.
As for the article you’re talking about, its garbage. It sucks. The Gallery is outdated, but it’s not terrible. Franklin Mills is worse. The people who ride SEPTA aren’t scary…they’re residents of the city. They should be treated with respect as long as they’re respectful towards you, and the super majority of them will be. If people are such snobs that they’re afraid of riding public transportation because of what they hear or see on that dumbass Facebook page, I actually feel bad for them for being so close-minded.
As for the other stuff on that stupid-ass list:
PECO and Comcast bills aren’t that bad. PGW bills are far worse.
The PPA has never ruined my day. They’re a minor inconvenience. Like I always say, they suck because they’re really good at doing their jobs.
People get their bike tires stolen in every city. That’s not unique to Philly.
If you’re from Philly, your family won’t want to see the historical stuff because they’ve already seen it. Therefore, this was probably written by someone who isn’t even from Philly or even the suburbs. They have no business writing this list, especially for something that sucks…like Buzzfeed.
The “jizz trees” are a bit of an anomaly, but why would anyone be afraid of a tree? Again, those aren’t unique to Philly.
Why would anyone be afraid of free hot dogs outside of an awesome place like Voyeur? Those hot dogs probably saved a lot of drunk people’s lives. The hot dogs at McGlinchey’s that take 30 minutes to prepare and serve…those are what people should be afraid of. Plus, the free ones outside of Voyeur are good as hell.
The rats at Green Eggs? A one-time occurrence. It’s not like that happens at Philly dining establishments often. They took care of it quickly and that was that. Again, this happens in other cities too. Why is this on the list? It has no reason to be.
There are liquor stores open on Sundays from 12-5. They’re not all closed on Sunday. Again, it’s nothing to be afraid of. You just have to know where to go.
You won’t get shot ordering drunk food in North Philly. You won’t get shot in North Philly period. How many drunk college students were shot in North Philly in the last five years? North Philly isn’t that bad. Be aware of your surroundings, don’t be disrespectful to people, don’t act like asshole to the locals who actually live there and aren’t part-time college students and you’ll be fine. This one really pisses me off. STOP BEING DISRESPECTFUL TO THE PEOPLE OF NORTH PHILLY.
You won’t get mugged or shot on your way to class. Again, be aware of your surroundings and don’t act like an asshole. Stop trying to scare people, Buzzfeed.
The dating scene in Philly is fine. If you’re actually putting stock into the fact that Philly was on some list of having “the ugliest people” you’re just a shallow asshole for judging people based upon their looks. Besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Fuck you Buzzfeed.
How often do buildings in Philly collapse? Not that often. This is stupid.
Trolley tracks can cause a wipeout on a bike. There’s a way to avoid that situation: walk your bike across the tracks after the first time you wipe out. Learn from past mistakes. Besides in the grand scheme of things, most of the roads in Philly don’t have trolley tracks.
Naked people? Are you kidding me? That’s not scary. How often do you see naked people around Philly?
Amount of alcohol consumed in tailgating? Because Philly is the only city where people do that? Fuck outta here, Buzzfeed.
Caught up in the wrong crowd? That has nothing to do with Philly. This has no business being on here. Filler. Lazy-ass Buzzfeed being lazy.
Arguments over cheesesteak preference probably occur, but if you’re smart you know where to go and where to avoid. Besides, most aren’t open that late at night—therefore the writer of this is only talking about the places that tourists go to.
Missing the last train home—only relevant if you’re taking regional rail. It is silly that they stop running at midnight, but that’s where good planning takes hold. The subways stop running late at night too, but they still run a night owl bus. Again, nothing to be afraid of.
I don’t think anyone will have to worry about people discovering how awesome Philly is and wanting to live here. As long as people like the writer of this nonsense keep trying to scare people away from Philly with a bunch of lame jokes and tired stereotypes (like that you’ll be shot just walking down the street in North Philly), people won’t be moving here.
Philly is an amazing place, and this Buzzfeed article doesn’t do it any justice. Buzzfeed sucks. It’s not a person’s opinion, and I don’t have to respect it—so I don’t.
So much for not going on a rant. Now I’m mad. I’m mad I had to access that stupid bullshit article just to type this response. You’re welcome, Anonymous.
Also, the best cheesesteaks are at Chink’s. In North Philly.